


Invalid

by writers_block_is_my_quirk



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Angst, Author Projecting onto Dib (Invader Zim), Bad Parent Professor Membrane, Dib kinnies rise up, Dib-centric (Invader Zim), Emotional Baggage, Emotional Manipulation, Gaslighting, Gen, I apologize in advance for this shameless projection, I doubt this will be the only time I project my daddy issues onto this poor boy, It's really just 600 something words of me spiraling, Medication, Mental Health Issues, One Shot, Short, Thinly Veiled Vent, but it's the authors baggage dhsjsbshsj, he can have a little daddy issues. as a treat, membrane is just a good fit for my dad lmao, when you write about your feelings and end up with a long list of TWs 😳, you want me to believe this kid is neurotypical??? absolutely not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 04:22:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28754310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writers_block_is_my_quirk/pseuds/writers_block_is_my_quirk
Summary: Dib's medication tends to make him reflect in a way he'd rather not.(Alternate description: I project my entire life onto Dib and it quickly goes from a vent about my medication to a whole self-reflection thinly veiled as a fanfiction. This has no plot, it's literally just me talking about feeling like shit so if you think it's boring I understand.)Please heed the TWs in the notes, as it turns out my emotions have a lot more triggering potential than I originally thought 😳
Relationships: Dib & Professor Membrane
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	Invalid

**Author's Note:**

> This is an AU/HC/projection where Dib has ADHD but his medication isn't helping, because I am Feeling things.
> 
> ⚠️TWS: Vomit mention, self deprecating thoughts, gaslighting? Probably emotional abuse too but idk. Drugs (of the medical sort, but still in a negative way) and just in case, possible TW for eating disorders.

Dib feels sick already and he hasn't even taken his medication yet. The doctor said he has to eat before taking it, but he can't stomach food right now. He's not entirely sure what the hell this medication is supposed to do, he still can't focus or sit still in class, and it's done nothing for his executive dysfunction. 

He twists the cap off of the orange bottle and shakes out a single blue pill. It's small, probably not even as big as a quarter longways, but he already knows it's gonna be hard to swallow. Still, he pops it into his mouth and chases it with several big gulps of water. He manages to get it down, finally.

It feels disgusting, the pill is flavorless but it still leaves a bad taste in his mouth. He closes the pill bottle and places it back in the medicine cabinet. As he closes the door, his reflection comes into view. There are dark circles under his eyes and his lips are chapped. He's not surprised, he doesn't get much sleep most nights. He goes into the living room and turns on the TV, looking for a way to kill time.

It's been about an hour since he took his medication and Dib feels like absolute shit. Just like every other time, his stomach feels weak and every time a commercial for some restaurant comes on, he feels like emptying what little he ate of last night's dinner onto the carpet and he's forced to change the channel. 

A rerun of Mysterious Mysteries is on, but he's not paying attention to it. Thoughts are running through his head, too many to keep up with. It feels like he's in a crowded cafeteria, with a hundred conversations overlapping around him, drowning out any other sounds. Gaz calls him to the kitchen to eat lunch, but he already knows he'll just lose his appetite before he even takes the first bite, so he stays put, only moving to rock back and forth absentmindedly. He doesn't feel like getting up anyways.

He's mentioned how his medication makes him feel to his dad. He's told him over and over that it makes him feel sick and weak and a little lightheaded, and it doesn't even help with his ADHD. He never listened.

"Nonsense, Dib! I can tell there's a big difference. You may not realise, but it's helping you just fine. Here, take an antacid."

His doctor is just as unhelpful. When he told him he was still unmotivated, he said it wasn't supposed to help with motivation. He told him it was normal to feel stomach aches when taking it. Dib wants to ask what the medication is even supposed to do, but he never bothers.

Somehow he always walks away from the conversations feeling stupid for doubting them.

Maybe it's something wrong with him. Maybe he doesn't have ADHD at all, maybe he's just lazy. Maybe he's just pretending, and lied on the test he was given so he could have something to blame his problems on. Maybe his dad is right, and he's just using his diagnosis as an excuse to do nothing.

He feels like a liar. A lazy, lying, manipulative asshole who refuses to do anything and claims it's because he can't will himself to.

Sometimes, he's mad at his father for thinking that.

Most of the time, he agrees.

His eyes sting, threatening to tear up, but he knows they won't. He's too numb for that at the moment, the whole world is just a blur around him. He's used to his medication making him feel like this, sometimes he spends hours just lying on the floor and staring at the ceiling, all of his emotions muffled as if they're buried.

Dib hates when he spirals like this, but he can't stop it. He hopes one day he'll get his shit together.

**Author's Note:**

> By the way I have nothing against medication and desperately want some that works, this is just how my current one makes me feel. This isn't how it is for everyone and it's not meant to represent medication as a whole, so please don't get the wrong idea about medication from this fic. Ty! The fic went a little off the rails and became more of an emotion dump but whatever, it's my fanfiction and I get to choose the pain-


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